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telehoman

Telehoman

Telehoman (テレホマン) is an old AA character from the dial-up era who showed up between 11pm to 8am. He was a mysterious hero with several attacks related to everyday dial-up issues. Naturally, after dial-up was replaced with broadband, he stopped showing up.

Text artwork

           _____________
   ___   /
 /´∀`;:::\< You rang?
/    /::::::::::| |
| ./|  /:::::|::::::| \_____________
| ||/::::::::|::::::|
           __________
   ___   /
 /´∀`;;;;;\< Full body.
/    /::::::::::| \__________
| ./|  /:::::|::::::|
| ||/::::::::|::::::|
U|:::::::::::::ヽ_ノ
  从人W从
  |  |  |
 (__(___) 

Special attacks

  • Telehoman Flying Attack (テレホマンフライングアタック) - An attack that occurs at 10:58:01pm, exactly 2 minutes and 59 seconds before 11:00pm when all the lines start to get clogged up.
  • Telehoman Doubling Attack (トラフィック倍増攻撃) - An attack that occurs at 11:00pm, when all of the Telehomans would show up and clog all the access points.
  • Telehoman Last Attack (テレホマンラストアタック) - A last attack that occurs past 8:00am, mainly to show off to people who leave at 7:58am, but never past 8:15am because of the phone bill.
  • Telehoman Overtime Attack (テレホマン時間外アタック) - A special last attack if he's outside of his usual hours. Similar to a vampire in daylight, he can die if left unattended.
  • Teleho Sleeping Fist (テレホ暴睡拳) - A last attack for the Telehoman that wakes up early avoiding the 11:00pm traffic, collects erotic images, masturbates, passes out, and suddenly it's past 8am.

What is Tele-Hodai?

On August 22, 1995, NTT introduced “Tele-Hodai” (テレホーダイ), shortened to “Teleho” (テレホ), which was a telephone service that charged a flat-rate monthly fee for unlimited calls to select numbers between 11pm to 8am. The service was mostly iconic for providing late-night internet access during the late 1990s and early 2000s, but people started using it less and less after the advent of broadband internet.

Name Line Target Selection Monthly Fee Introduced
Tele-Hodai 1800
(City Plan)
General Two numbers in local area 1,800 Yen
(≈ $18.00)
1995-08-22
Tele-Hodai 3600
(Adjacent Plan)
Two numbers in 20km radius 3,600 Yen
(≈ $36.00)
1995-10-19
INS Tele-Hodai Home
(City Plan)
ISDN Two numbers in local area 2,400 Yen
(≈ $24.00)
1996-02-09
INS Tele-Hodai Home
(Adjacent Plan)
Two numbers in 20km radius 4,800 Yen
(≈ $48.00)
INS Tele-Hodai Business
(City Plan)
Two numbers in local area 4,800 Yen
(≈ $48.00)
1996-09-19
INS Tele-Hodai Business
(Adjacent Plan)
Two numbers in 20km radius 9,200 Yen
(≈ $92.00)

Notes


               (・>      Σ・)
              ミ ノ___     ( ミ彡
               ┴  ´∀` \  ,―っ
                /      /:::::::V:::::|  
              | /|   /:::::::::|:::::/     
       .      , || |  /::::::::::::|
          、, ,, | | .//:::::::::::::::::| 、 ,,  @
      ,,, 、,,   ,  Unnn::::/ー、::::::nnn   ヽ|ノ,,
          、、,  ,,| |:/  ,,\::| | "  ,,  、、, ,,
               ー'      ー' 、、,, 
telehoman.txt · Last modified: 2023-12-17 12:59:53 by 127.0.0.1