The Homestuck Epilogues is a prose novel, authored by Andrew Hussie and select contributors, that was published from April 13–20, 2019. It's meant to be an optional continuation of Homestuck, a parody of fanfiction, that punishes readers for tempting fate and demanding more.¹⁾

Following an ominous dream, our 23-year-old protagonist is asked to resume the final fight, to stop Earth C from falling apart, but gets the choice to consume meat or candy beforehand. In short, this choice dictates whether said protagonist does exactly that, oblivious to ulterior motives guiding these actions, or stay behind to watch the world devolve into an odd mess of meaningless out-of-character chaos and drama.

In the meat timeline, our protagonist allows Caliborn's Masterpiece to play out, fulfills said task, but ends up dying. As for Earth C, a xenophobic electoral campaign against trollkind surfaces, except this is a diversion meant to distract the remaining protagonists from realizing the new antagonist's ulterior motives. They finally catch onto the narrative manipulation, gives chase, and the story ends there.

In the candy timeline, our protagonist chooses to stay on Earth C, but this has the effect of the world turning so nonsensical that it kinda irks our protagonist. As a sample size, this is the timeline with sexual assaults, suicides, offspring, xenophobic policies, anti-fascist rebellion, a former president, etc. It's eventually revealed to us that the timeline is in meat timeline's black hole, being held together by the other narrator.

The overall storyline in The Homestuck Epilogues is that Dirk undergoes an existential crisis and decides to become the new antagonist for the story to go on, afflicting Rose with an illness²⁾ which only persists in the meat timeline.³⁾⁴⁾ From there, Dirk sends Vriska into a black hole⁵⁾ which banishes her to the candy timeline,⁶⁾ then snuffs out the protagonist in an underwhelming fashion,⁷⁾ leaving no obstacles.

• One of the major criticisms about The Homestuck Epilogues is characterization, but this isn't really a huge surprise when characterization has been a recurring complaint since Act 6 of Homestuck.
• It's worth noting that Dirk uses the narrative to manipulate Dave and Karkat into a relationship,⁸⁾ which reflects what Caliborn does with the two characters in Act 6 Act 6 Act 3 of Homestuck.⁹⁾
• While it was established that troll women don't lactate,¹⁰⁾ we somehow find Rose capable of producing breast milk and breastfeeding the adopted Vriska,¹¹⁾ which raises even more questions.
• Due to Jade's god tiering¹²⁾ relying on her prototyped dream self,¹³⁾ she became part-dog (“dog tier”) upon ascension. For some reason, The Homestuck Epilogues decided to run with the idea of Jade growing a penis after the game had done “some things” to her body,¹⁴⁾ but it's never explicitly stated if the organ in question is human or canine despite the very popular consensus on its attribute.
• Unlike the previous depictions of former president Barack Obama, the president whose regime ended prematurely in Homestuck¹⁵⁾ would communicate with a formal syntax.¹⁶⁾

• Homestuck: Beyond Canon - The sequel, which The Homestuck Epilogues are a prequel to.

• The Homestuck Epilogues - The landing page for The Homestuck Epilogues.