The Homestuck Epilogues is a prose novel, authored by Andrew Hussie and select contributors, that was published from April 13–20, 2019. It's meant to be an optional continuation of Homestuck, a parody of fanfiction, which punishes readers for tempting fate and demanding more.¹⁾

Following an ominous dream, our 23-year-old protagonist is urged to finish the fight against Lord English to stop Earth C from its supposed destruction. The protagonist is given a choice to consume meat or candy, which dictates whether said protagonist complies, oblivious to the ulterior motives, or stay behind as the world devolves into an odd mess of arguably meaningless out-of-character chaos and drama.

In the meat timeline, our protagonist lets Caliborn's Masterpiece play out, defeats Lord English, then dies of poison. Meanwhile on Earth C, they have this whole election, because Jane is suddenly xenophobic, but it never really mattered since it was all a distraction. The alternative narrator eventually gets to step in and the remaining protagonists finally realize that the new antagonist must be stopped.

In the candy timeline, our protagonist remains on Earth C, which sends the story incredibly off-course. As a sample size, we see sexual assaults, suicides, offspring, xenophobia, rebellion, etc. We slowly learn more about the Ultimate Self, then it becomes clear that the meat timeline's black hole is tied to the candy universe. Lastly, a former president appears and the stage is set for the alternative narrator to intervene.

The overall storyline in The Homestuck Epilogues is that Dirk has an existential crisis and becomes the new antagonist for the story to go on, afflicting Rose with an illness²⁾ that only persists in the meat timeline.³⁾⁴⁾ From there, Dirk throws Vriska into a black hole⁵⁾ which banishes her to the candy timeline,⁶⁾ then snuffs out the protagonist,⁷⁾ reducing the amount of opposition to take center stage.

During the Lord English fight, Jade is wounded⁸⁾ and Dirk tries steering her into the meat timeline,⁹⁾ but the Alternate Callope manages to pull her into the candy timeline,¹⁰⁾¹¹⁾ possesses her,¹²⁾ and eventually gains narrative powers.¹³⁾ Jade's removal creates a paradox in the meat timeline, so Dirk tranquilizes Jade to delay Alternate Calliope's plans,¹⁴⁾ but Jade eventually wakes up to warn everyone about Dirk.¹⁵⁾

• One of the major criticisms about The Homestuck Epilogues is characterization, which isn't a huge surprise considering how it's been a recurring complaint since Act 6 of Homestuck, but we don't really have any good explanations on why Jane suddenly turns into this massive xenophobe.
• You do have to consider the conditions which led to Dirk managing to coerce Dave and Karkat into a relationship,¹⁶⁾¹⁷⁾ like, the rest of them were just dead, missing, or preoccupied with bullshit.¹⁸⁾
• While it was established that troll women don't lactate,¹⁹⁾ we somehow find Rose capable of producing breast milk and breastfeeding the adopted Vriska,²⁰⁾ which raises even more questions.²¹⁾
• Due to Jade's god tiering²²⁾ relying on her prototyped dream self,²³⁾ she became part-dog (“dog tier”) upon ascension. For some reason, The Homestuck Epilogues decided to run with the idea of Jade growing a penis after the game had done “some things” to her body,²⁴⁾ but it's never explicitly stated if the organ in question is human or canine despite the very popular consensus on its attribute.
• Unlike the previous depictions of former president Barack Obama, the president whose regime ended prematurely in Homestuck²⁵⁾ would communicate with a formal syntax.²⁶⁾

• Homestuck: Beyond Canon - The sequel, which The Homestuck Epilogues are a prequel to.

• The Homestuck Epilogues - The landing page for The Homestuck Epilogues.